I’m no great lover of world cinema, but in a bid to be a bit more cosmopolitan I recently watched a Spanish horror movie “El Cuerpo” (“The Body”). I won’t spoil the plot, but suffice to say that an unexpected yet, after the fact, wholly foreseeable twist hits you right in the solar plexus at the end.
My solar plexus took yet another wallop when I was gleefully informed by various “well-meaning” pals of other footballing persuasions that Kane Hemmings had signed for Oxford United. Like the aforementioned Iberian film, I’d been expecting to lose somebody this summer – Gary Harkins is already on the naughty step, and Greg Stewart is surely next to go for a fee – but despite his scintillating form last season, I never even considered it would be him. Other than his absence against Peterhead the night before, there’d been no indication that something was afoot, no rumours in the press, nothing. His exit was as swift, disastrous and frustratingly inexplicable as our woeful League Cup run that had all but ended at Balmoor.
“Why the fuss?”, you cry, having emerged from under a rock for the first time since last May. (By the way, we relegated United at Dens a few months back, just in case you missed that.) After all, Dundee – like most Scottish teams – have to be a selling club, given the market they work within. The fuss, to put it mildly, is the result of a number of factors: timing, planning, communication and, of course, money. But we’ll get to those later.
Like a mafia funeral, before the recriminations occur, we must briefly pay our respects to our fallen Don. Hemmings has been the least Dundee-like player I’ve seen at Dens. He’s a consistent performer, both on an individual basis and as part of the team, and rarely misses a game through injury or disciplinary shenanigans. He’s lethal in front of goal, with one of the highest shot conversion rates in the league, and was not a flat-track bully or a player simply for the big games. He rarely frustrated and always ran himself into the ground, no matter the occasion. Most importantly, he got it right up United in a few derbies and on Twitter, which in my petty mind is worth an extra 10 goals a season in itself.
Deservedly nominated for Player of the Year last season, he single-handedly led our ultimately doomed charge for the top six and helped to mask our deficiencies elsewhere on the park. While no player is irreplaceable, it’d take a lot of money or a heavy dose of luck to strike gold like him again. His departure leaves Dundee with Stewart (likely to leave at the end of the season, if not before), Rory Loy (who seems to have terrible luck finding the cow’s behind which he was skelping with a banjo at the start of last season), Craig Wighton (permanent “one to watch” material and the vanquisher of Dundee United, but very much a support act for the time being) and Yordi Teijsse (built like an amateur wrestler and new to full time football) left as the options up top. Given that our defence is currently auditioning for Mr Bean and our midfield can be as disconnected as an early 90s modem, it’s a recipe for disaster if nothing’s done to fix our punctured squad.
The above alone would be grounds for Dundee fans to be mutinous. However, the circumstances surrounding his departure have raised temperatures to the point of the thermometer bursting. Readers may vaguely recall talk of Hemmings heading to China for £2-3 million with a few months left of the season. That, quite frankly, was ridiculous money, and it undoubtedly led to high expectations for what sum we could collect. In the end, Hemmings was sold overnight for an “undisclosed” fee, a strategy which does nothing to dispel the persistent rumours of a £250,000 release clause strenuously and repeatedly denied by the club [ed: the club have since done a U-turn on this, admitting it was a release clause that was activated].
The guessing games and rumours bandied about on Twitter and the message boards are in part fuelled by the approach taken to communications. All through the summer, the chairman and the manager have both made repeated statements that Dundee are no longer a selling club, and that it’d take a small fortune to prise away any of our stars. What are fans supposed to believe now? Will Scott Bain or Stewart be next out of the door? Do they have sell-on stipulations in their deals? Will we end up doing a United and selling our prize assets only to plummet back down to the second tier?
I’m not looking for chapter and verse on every minutiae of Dens Park life, but the sparse statement announcing the transfer with little in the way to reassure fans that a good sum was obtained that’ll be used to strengthen the side as a whole has left fans spitting tacks at having shelled out nearly £400 for a season ticket on the assumption that our star players would stay. Indeed, the timing of the sale – just after a plea for more fans to follow 3250 of their brethren in signing up for this season – really couldn’t have been worse if it had been planned by the most spiteful Tangerine.
It’s compounded the confusion and frustration felt by sections of the support over the future of Gary Harkins, who is now persona non grata at the club. Clearly something’s happened, and any sensible fan can’t expect the details of whatever bust-up or disagreement occurred to be made public. However, for one of our few sources of creativity (and, to my naïve eyes, one of our modern day cult heroes) to be banished without any sort of reason given – and, what’s worse, no obvious replacement to ensure we don’t do anything embarrassing like stumble out of the League Cup in the easiest group – has undoubtedly soured relationships, and has brought out the brittle side of the Dundee support. With our recent well-documented history with various boards and managers, it doesn’t bode well that there’s now been two incidents where fans have been left wondering what the hell is going on.
Although it’s easier (and, sadistically, more fun) to write about our woes, I’m hoping that the last week or so isn’t a harbinger of things to come and that the paltry funds received for our star striker are reinvested wisely. His contribution last season masked a poor defence, which hasn’t yet been upgraded this summer. As well as replacing Hemmings, Paul Hartley will have to do what he can to make us more robust at the back; either a centre half to allow us to play with wing backs, bringing in an able replacement for Paul McGinn at right back to compete with Cammy Kerr or a left back to challenge the under-par Kevin Holt are all possibilities and should be priorities.
A new Harkins able to effectively link between our midfield and attack is also needed, given the scraps our strikers were given to work with when Harkins and Stewart weren’t available or on form last year. In fairness to Hartley, his recruitment – Bain, Darren O’Dea, Stewart, Paul McGowan, Hemmings, McGinn to name a few – has generally been excellent, particularly from the lower leagues where you’d imagine we’re going to dipping into in the near future. There’s been talk of St Mirren’s Stephen Mallan and Faissal El-Bakhtaoui of Dunfermline both being targeted, as well as Liam Boyce of Ross County, any of which I’d be relatively happy with.
What’s pretty clear is that Hartley has his work cut out to salvage our season before it even begins. This is pretty major surgery for a team only a few weeks from the curtain opening on the league season, but it’s necessary if we’re to have any joy out of our first season in too many years as Dundee’s top team. We only have to look across the road to see what happens when you sell your best players without any sort of back-up plan. Hartley’s moves before the window shuts could be the making of him at Dens or his ultimate undoing.
Written by Gary Cocker