Craig Cairns (@craigcairns001)
This week I’m going to be less cynical than usual and go for Ryan Christie’s exquisite through ball for Carl Tremarco in the dying stages of their draw at Tannadice on Saturday. For a second after the ball left the inside of his boot, I thought Christie had skewed the pass as the correct ball appeared to be to find his left-back on the overlap. His clever disguise not only caught Ryan McGowan wrong-footed, it was threaded through a narrow channel of United players to put Tremarco through on goal.
Unfortunately for Inverness, the shot was saved and the match was drawn but it was yet another indication that Christie is a class above the majority of his teammates. Mckay, Ofere, Shinnie and Watkins have all departed the club this calendar year, leaving Christie to emerge from his role of exciting youngster to become the team’s talisman. Christie’s assist at the weekend means that he has now scored two and assisted four of their seven goals this season.
A host of injuries has further weakened Inverness, who have managed only one victory from their ten matches this season. Manager John Hughes seems unfazed by this and he is quite right. He won the Scottish Cup for the first time in the club’s history a matter of months ago and these injuries, along with the aforementioned departures, has contributed heavily to their difficult start. Get a few more key players back, keep Christie on this kind of form, and they will begin to climb the table no problem. At least until January when he leaves as well.
Kris Jack (@krisjack85)
Hat-tricks have been somewhat rare so far in the Premiership this season, so after Emilio Izaguirre ludicrously found himself on one on Sunday against Dundee, given the week that he’s had, he’d have seen netting a treble as a bit of redemption for his Amsterdam red card.
With Celtic in full flight thanks to his brace, he’d have been banking on being handed the ball should they get a spot-kick, and sure enough the footballing Gods shone on him to provide him with such an opportunity. But instead of slotting the ball past the increasingly helpless Terrace podcast favourite Scott Bain, Izaguirre decided to play it for laughs and balloon the ball over the bar in a fashion that early-noughties-John-Smiths-advert-era Peter Kay would have been proud of. ‘Ave it, indeed.
Pat Bonner often refers to the Honduran as ‘Enziguri’, which as all wrestling aficionados know is a highly elaborate, elevated kick to the head. Emilio would have been far better using that technique to strike his penalty than the one he opted for where he just ran at it full pelt and put his toe right through it. However, his reaction to the hellish effort was right out of the WWE, throwing himself to the floor and covering his face with his hands, distraught at his horrible effort he’d produced, only to get up a millisecond later, laughing it off like the utter heel he is.
As shite penalties go, it’s definitely up there, and had it not been for the stand behind the goal, it would still likely be rising higher and higher above the east end of Glesga.
Craig Fowler (@craigfowler86)
Kilmarnock are three points off the top six. I’ll repeat: Gary Locke’s Kilmarnock are three points off the top six. Once Ross County notched their fourth goal in the 0-4 first-half Rugby Park embarrassment, it seemed inconceivable that Lockie would turn things around. Infinite parallel universes there may be, but the idea of one where Kilmarnock won two consecutive league games was beyond ridiculous. He was done. Surely it was just a matter of time.
In football it’s often the case where a manager or player or club reach the point of no return, where the story seems to have reached a conclusion and we’re just waiting on the closing credits, only for the reel to keep rolling. And as long as there isn’t an ending, there’s always a chance at redemption. Locke may have been out on his backside had Kilmarnock possessed the funds to pay him off. But as long as he had the backing of the players, which has always seemed to be the case despite their uselessness, there was always a chance that things could get better.
Back when the draw was made for the next round of the League Cup, it looked like Hearts were almost guaranteed a bye into the next round. Since then my lot have lost three consecutive games while the Kevin McHatties are on a winning streak. And speaking of ex-Jambo players, seeing as there is an army of them in the Kilmarnock first-team, all wanting revenge like a pack of jilted lovers, Wednesday’s match looks set to be a very intriguing contest.
Graeme Thewliss (@thisGRAEME)
Life is a struggle. Not an actual struggle, as I’m never going to have to admit to a girlfriend about having committed porkery after it appeared on the front page of a national newspaper, but a struggle nonetheless. The mundanity of the day-to-day slog, hour after hour of filling your daily routine, ploughing through the dullest of work in order to fund your distinctly average lifestyle. Stuck in offices with people who are either taking their responsibilities far too seriously, or not seriously enough.
It is in the moments of clarity in the this most pedestrian of lifestyles that the joy comes, the reminders that really, we’re all taking things a bit too seriously. So much like a student ignoring every piece of requested information, and instead scrawling ‘NO ROASTERS’ across their ‘preferred qualities in a flatmate’ form, my highlight of the weekend’s action is Louis Moult decking it at New Douglas Park.
Moult has won around early doubters at Fir Park with his relentless endeavour. Hung out to dry by a manager unsure of which ten the tactical tombola will turn out behind him, Moult still scores. Four goals in eight games is a solid return for any new signing, but his most telling contribution so far was his burst to the right wing during the first half. With the ball breaking upfield from a Hamilton attack, the ball skidded across the surface, destined for a thrown in. Not Louis though, not on his watch, not today. Haring after it like a scalded cat, Louis makes up the ground, looks up, spots Robinson bursting through, and is on the floor. No touch, no tackle, no hesitation. Just a glorious, wonderful, fall.
Impeccable effort for no reward, keep struggling on Louis, for all our sakes.
John Callan (@JohnLCallan)
As the fellas alluded to on the pod on Monday, it often feels with Aberdeen just now that literally everything has systematically improved since Derek McInnes took up the reigns at the club. While there was plenty room for improvement in a lot of areas back in 2013, one aspect not requiring much work was the form of Niall McGinn. Yet, here we are two-and-a-bit years later, and even he’s going from strength to strength.
Though not as prolific as he initially was at the Dons, his skill and creativity are vital for the side in its current mould. Possibly the single most talented player in a very capable team, its telling that even Flexible McInnes 2.0 (upgraded following 2013/14) will rarely ever drop him in whatever attacking combination he chooses to field. His assists and movement are invaluable, even when he isn’t scoring.
Aberdeen’s second on Sunday showed him at his very best. It was straight out of Cuppy Singles; picking up the ball away out wide next to the bushes, megging one onrushing opponent and feinting past another like they hadn’t been playing big-boy fitba long, before finishing emphatically and reeling away in delight. Frankly, if McGinn continues this campaign the way he’s started, he’s in with a decent shout for Premiership player of the season.
The Football Critic (@TheFitbawCritic)
There’s something morbidly fascinating about deconstructing goals conceded by a team on the receiving end of a brutal slaughtering in any football match. It piques our interest more than goals scored in any run of the mill 2-1. ‘What, they lost 6-0?’ we say, ‘I’d better watch that’. And so you do. Glued to the highlights with a perverse grin on your face. You take on the role of a football forensic expert, studying the evidence and identifying the guilty parties. It’s even better when the experts, like Gary Neville, for example, do it for you. That’s like the football equivalent of watching CSI.
Unfortunately in the Scottish Premiership there’s usually only one culprit, and therefore it all kind of loses its edge. The culpable defenders then become the victims, because they don’t earn as much or are surrounded by team-mates quite as good, and because they are the latest in a series of victims at the hands of Celtic there’s a kind of empathy towards them. This is the football equivalent of CSI: NY. You watch, and it feels familiar, but ultimately you don’t really care.
That’s why when Sportscene came on this week and Celtic 6-0 Dundee began, I found myself being drawn to one man in particular, Mr James McPake. Now, James has always been very high on the list of entertaining Scottish defenders. He’s no stranger to the term ‘blood and thunder’ and this can often lead to some hilarious over-committing on his part. He also cuts a terrifically animated figure at all times, whether he’s yelling at a team-mate for a mistake he likely caused, or flexing his “muscles” after scoring late equalisers in derby games. Against Celtic, he became increasingly more entertaining to watch than any of the highlights. Whether it was him falling on his backside, raving at the linesman, punching the ground in anger after Celtic’s 5th, or briefly having his bald head patted by Nadir Ciftci before the striker tore past him to score, he never failed to disappoint. I dare say McPake Watch is going to be a weekly Sunday night habit from now on.
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