From players’ autobiographies to nostalgic childhood memoirs, Scottish football literature has always captured the best and the worst of the game. From the magic of St. Mirren’s cup exploits to Stuart Donald’s memories of Alex Ferguson’s magnificent Dons, Scottish football has a long and (mostly) illustrious history. Dave Burin explores five of the best books about the beautiful game in Alba.
1.) Scottish Football: It’s Not All About the Old Firm – Scott Burns
Whilst the cliché states that every football fan loves an underdog, the media coverage will often suggest otherwise. Sky Sports’ latest season preview for the Scottish Premiership looked like it had been produced for Celtic’s official website – the Hoops getting in-depth coverage, before a few begrudging references to the fact that there were some other teams competing in the league. And as for the sports network’s 24-hour news coverage which informs viewers every time someone in the Rangers boardroom makes a cup of tea or rips out a fart, casual viewers could be forgiven for not knowing of the existence of Motherwell, Kilmarnock or even Berwick Rangers.
Scott Burns exceptional book chronicles each league and cup success won by any side from the rest of Scotland since Aberdeen’s championship win of 1979-80. The stories – inevitably tales of long-awaited, hard-fought triumphs followed by impressively boozy after-parties would eventually have become repetitive under the pen of a poorer writer, but Burns incorporates player testimony, supporter memories and superb descriptive power into his tales of Scottish football’s finest unlikely lads.
From Paul Hegarty’s memories of final-day nerves at Dens Park as Dundee United won their first league championship to St. Mirren’s Scottish Cup celebrations, with Paisley’s streets lined with “bodies everywhere even on the top of lamp posts”, this is an evocative and heart-warming read. On a personal note, I’m hoping for an updated edition at the end of 2015, telling of the moment Seán Dillon lifted the league title at Tannadice. After all, stranger things have happened, as the pages of this book will testify.
2.) The Price of Vice – Andy Ritchie
As Greenock Morton fell from the Scottish Championship last May, their final game a brutal 10-2 defeat at the hands of Alex Neil’s Accies, it was hard to believe that the grand old ground of Cappielow had once – just fleetingly – been the home of the top side in Scotland. Whilst Morton’s ascent to the top of Scotland’s Premier Division in November 1979 had been remarkable, the tale of its catalyst, Andrew Ritchie, was even more remarkable still. Fortunately, the ‘Idle Idol”s tale of footballing brilliance and booze fuelled meltdowns are told by an insightful, humble and engaging storyteller – the man himself.
At times, The Price of Vice is a tough read. Ritchie’s book is a litany of personal frustrations and disappointment. “My career and my life”, he writes “have been a major let down, a cursed disappointment. Not only to me, but to many others as well”. But it’s also a text lightened by impish comedy and personal recollections of Morton magic. One especially memorable example of the former comes in an anecdote about the legendary Jock Stein. The Celtic manager, hearing of Tommy Burns’ family hardship (which included his being unable to afford a new coat), gave the young trainee money to buy himself a coat jacket. Expecting Burns to give some of that money to his mother, Stein was instead surprised to find the literal-minded youngster turning up to training wearing “the most ostentatious number money could buy”. Ritchie wryly notes, “Tommy had been told to buy a coat with the money and what Tommy was told Tommy did”. It’s one of many gently comic moments in a book which provokes many a wistful smile.
Ritchie’s tale, as thoughtfully penned as it is, is ready-made with all the ingredients of any literary classic. There are larger-than-life mentors; namely Morton manager Hal Stewart, accurately described by Chick Young as “the greatest football showman of them all”. There are on-field triumphs (including that gravity-defying free kick against Partick Thistle), and off-field tragedies (a broken marriage, and a broken bond with the aforementioned Tommy Burns). Throughout this compelling narrative, Ritchie is a perfect companion – witty, self-deprecating and reflective. Those who idolised the mercurial maverick from the benches of the Wee Dublin End – or anywhere else, for that matter – will not be disappointed.
3.) On Fire with Fergie – Stuart Donald
It is a testament to Stuart Donald’s wonderful memoir that one of my favourite literary evocations of childhood comes from a chapter entitled ‘I Hate Dundee United’. The simple, imaginative joy of a kid obsessed with his club rings through the following lines: “the long back wall of our garden, which in my mind was the right wing at Pittodrie, was as usual supplying me with an excellent supply of crosses, and the shorter end wall was the King Street – goalmouth in front of which stood various imaginary and hapless goalkeepers”. Whether you’ve grown up supporting Aberdeen, Arbroath or Breezes Eagles of the Bahamas Senior League, it’s a simple childhood joy which any football fan can relate to.
There’s a real feeling of nostalgia about On Fire with Fergie, but it never becomes mawkish or cloying. There also exist the negatives of football in Britain during the ’80s, best evoked by the threat of a beating by school bullies after a majestic Dons victory at Muirton Park, and the large, unruly away followings of Rangers, and Celtic – “every bit as intimidating and fearsome as their bravado inside the ground had always implied”.
But overwhelmingly, the feel of Donald’s text is one of warmth and fondness for a bygone age on and off the pitch, for a father with whom he shared the unbreakable bond of football, and for an Aberdeen side which took the nation, and European football by storm, before sliding back into their place as perennial bridesmaids in the Scottish game.
4.) Kilmarnock: Champions of Scotland (1964-65) – Rob Hadgraft
April 2015 marks 50 years since Kilmarnock won the Scottish Football League (the present-day Premiership) for the only time in their history. The achievement in itself was remarkable enough, but the dramatic manner in which Killie lifted the title would seem clichéd and unbelievable, were it not true. A final-day win at Tynecastle won the title on the long-forgotten mode of ‘goal average’, in manager Willie Waddell’s final game in charge. Rob Hadgraft, then a young supporter of the club, tells the story with an understated poignancy, and as with On Fire with Fergie, the book manages the difficult feat of being nostalgic without becoming mawkish.
Consistently second-best in the title race throughout the early 1960s, Hadgraft’s story explores how “eternal runners-up did indeed seem to be Kilmarnock’s fate”, before a change of style to a more defensive, stifling football gave the Ayrshire side the cutting edge to produce a successful title tilt. Incorporating contemporary reports from the Kilmarnock Standard newspaper, players of the victorious ’65 team, and fan recollections, this is a truly lovely tribute to a team which brought unlikely glory to a small Aryshire town.
Perhaps the book’s most interesting facet though, is the photographs included in its pages. From Frank Beattie’s testimonial program notes being used to sell a Chrysler, to a reprinted poster from Killie’s game against Bangu of Brazil in the New York International Tournament – this is a labour of love whose detail and, sometimes, obscureness is central to its success. A treasure for Kilmarnock fans, and a very worthwhile read for any football fan with a penchant for the game’s history.
5.) Hunting Grounds – Gary Sutherland
‘Have Fun in Methil’, Gary’s wife tells him. And how could you not? In Hunting Grounds, Gary Sutherland goes the extra (500) miles to provide a charming, well-structured and humorous guide to life in Scottish football, going to see every side in the Scottish Football League play a home game in the 2006-07 season. It’s a mission which Sutherland is commendably* (*or insanely – based on your worldview) committed to. A friend from Corniere della Sera, the Italian daily newspaper comes to visit, wanting to watch Celtic, but Sutherland convinces him “that we are far better off watching East Stirlingshire instead”. It’s a hard sell, but somebody has to bring continental visitors to watch the Shire!
Throughout, the book follows a regimental pattern. As someone with OCD, this is right up my street. For other readers, it might get a little bit tiresome, but it gives the whole thing a structure, and introduces each club, the ground and the game in a familiar way. It also makes Hunting Grounds a good book to dip in and out of, and I read the lower league entries first, as they were the clubs I generally knew less about. And I learnt a lot. Stenhousemuir reached the Scottish Cup semis in 1903. Stirling Albion once beat Selkirk 20-0 in a cup tie. Dumbarton ran out of pies during their home game with East Stirlingshire. Never mind losing 20-0. Not ordering enough half-time snacks is a genuine footballing travesty.
As with many of the texts here, Hunting Grounds is a reminder that Scottish football is bigger than the Old Firm. It’s more exciting and historic than the clichés would have you believe. It runs the gamut from the grandeur of Ibrox to the homely charms of Borough Briggs. And the joy and despair, the loyalty, the gallows humour and the pre-match pints are often shared harmoniously by football and literature.
WRITTEN BY DAVE A BURIN
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