Our inglorious bastard of a leader, Craig Fowler, goes through the football related questions you’ve sent us over the past week. There shall be another edition released on Thursday or Friday.
After failing to wind up Derek McInnes and only confusing himself hopefully we’ve seen the end of the Yogi Hughes mind games. But who in the SPFL past/present has been good/bad at winding up players and fans? – Andrew Sutherland (@Asutherland1983)
Tricky one as I’m really trying to search the back of my brain to avoid an obvious answer, thereby ignoring the huge red neon light screaming “NEIL LENNON” at the front of it.
I’ve always been someone who’s gone against the grain with regards to popular opinion in football. I was the only guy who loved Didier Drogba the more he dived. I was the only Hearts fan in 2007 whose favourite player was Saulius Mikolinas. Therefore it’s harder for me to remember these guys. I always accepted wind-up merchants and mind games managers as par for the course. I never got the seethe Hearts fans had for Kenny Shiels. Didn’t everyone get that he was merely doing it to increase the bond between him and his own supporters? Alhough I’ll admit it may have helped that I had long since learned the ways of the sports journalism industry and knew how rare managers who actually make for good copy are. So I apologise if the ones I come up with are not up to standard and that I miss a few out.
First mention has to go to Rudi Skacel and his relationship with the Hibs fans. It started on his home debut when he scored against them, kissed the Hearts badge and then told them all to leave the stadium, and it’s pretty much continued on from there. Before the “number 51” incident he hadn’t really done much more than a few cheeky gestures to the crowd, but that took real-life trolling to new levels. I was there for his return to Easter Road with Dundee United. His mere presence gave a run of the mill Premiership game a real poisonous atmosphere.
In terms of actual mind games, it’s hard to think of anything. I could be cheeky and suggest that most of our managers don’t have the savvy, but that would perhaps be a little unfair. Craig Levein and Billy Reid used to winds other managers up, and Derek Adams definitely does it as well, but I’m not entirely sure they’re trying to gain an advantage, and it’s not just their persona in the press that winds people up so much.
Craig Anderson tipped me off to quite an obscure one. Alan Combe, former Kilmarnock keeper, used to insist on wearing a green goalkeeping top whenever his team played Hearts and was noted to have occasionally kissed the fabric prior to taking a goal kick. Which is quite ironic seeing as he’s now employed as the club’s goalkeeping coach.
Of course, Artur Boruc used to wind people up something rotten, particularly with his use of those strange flamboyant dances. In the macho world of football I always thought the joke was on him any time he pulled one of them out. He also caused me to actively route for Hibs one time after being an insufferable **** during an away trip to Easter Road. After his stunts I just thought “naw, **** it, get it up these arrogant Old Firm ****s” and they duly won with a Boruc howler gifting Hibs the winner.
Gazza and his flute is another. For anyone too young to remember – what a horrible thing to write from my point of view – the former Rangers midfielder once mimed playing a flute in an Old Firm match in January 1998 to symbolise the Orange Order march. He received death threats from Celtic fans and was punished by both the club and the SFA.
There will be hundreds more that I just can’t remember. Leave a note in the comments if there’s anything glaring you think I’ve missed… Scott Brown! Ah, sod it, I’ll move on now. We could be here all day.
What’s the best/worst song to come out to? – Seth (@Scotsmo)
It depends what you mean by this. If you mean a song adopted or write specifically for a football team there is only one answer in my mind and if you disagree we shall enter into a battle to the death, particularly if you try to tell me “You’ll Never Walk Alone” or “Sunshine on Leith” are better than what gets played at five to three in Tynecastle every second week – though I do have a soft spot for Geordie Munro (look it up).
If you mean a pop song played then it becomes a lot more difficult. I’m an indie/rock boy at heart so anything dance can GTF, even if it does bring back happy memories like “Wake Me Up”. A few years back Hearts went through a period of playing “Thunderstruck” by AC/DC as the players came out of the tunnel. That was pretty cool. The intro certainly gets the adrenalin pumping. I also like “Two Tribes” by Frankie Goes To Hollywood any time there is a derby match. My favourite, though, doesn’t come from Scottish football or a team I particularly like. Manchester United often play “This Is The One” before big matches and I’ve always thought it an apt choice for the important occasions. Plus, it’s a f***ing tune.
As for worst song, it’s not a song they come out to, but Alloa has “Life is Life” by Opus play every time they scored a goal. That’s bad enough, if it wasn’t for the fact that the PA announcer at The Rec responsible for the playing of said song seems completely unfamiliar with a pause/play button. So what happens instead is that he has the song playing on a continuous loop. This wouldn’t be much of a problem were it not for the fact that he refuses to completely mute it while the game is on going, meaning that if you happen to be sitting outside the press box – and for me this has been every game since they’ve been promoted to the Championship because they like to save the space for the “regulars”, i.e. sookes – then you can faintly hear “Life is Life” throughout the entire match. That, coupled with the fact you are watching a defensive side managed by the personality deficient Barry Smith, has me popping mind numbing pills like Skittles every time I’m forced to board the train to Clackmannanshire.
Does Danny Lennon know that Danny Lennon won’t be St Mirren manager next season? – Greg Shepherd (@sheepz1885)
I am guessing this question was only asked so that you could type the joke of Danny Lennon referring to himself in the third person? Hey, I’m not even knocking it. I know it’s fun.
To give a serious answer to the question, I have to believe he’s started to doubt his position. On Sunday, Andrew Smith wrote in the Scotland on Sunday that the St Mirren boss insisted he wasn’t thinking about his contract situation at that moment, despite no-one broaching the subject in the first place. The fans want him out, he’s failed to improve the position of the team in the league structure over his tenure and the club have so far refused to offer him a new deal. Yes, alarm bells should be ringing in Danny Lennon’s ears right now… Danny Lennon.
How many players is the Hearts squad away from competing in the Championship? – Craig Cairns (@craigcairns001)
Months ago I had gotten halfway through an unpublished blog stating my case as to why this Hearts team would compete, if not win, this season’s Championship. The reason I didn’t post it was that I was a little short on hard evidence. It was all opinion based on my reasoning that not one of the three Championship title contenders had look particularly strong this season and that the Hearts team would be much better if they didn’t have the constant pressure of overcoming the points deduction or dealing with confidence sapping defeats every week. So, in normal season, I would have said one or two players was all that it would take. A no-nonsense leader defender and a recognisable striker in a different style to Dale Carrick. The rest of the side would still be very young, but then that argument can apply to Falkirk.
Unfortunately, next season’s Championship shall not be a normal term. The first signing I would say they should make is a new manager. I am not a huge Gary Locke critic. He’s made a number of mistakes but then he’s a young manager in his first job, mistakes are part of the learning curve. But I look at him like a Ally McCoist 2.0 – reinforced by his decision to withdraw Carrick on Friday in favour of centre back Brad McKay playing up front. He’s someone who’s learned from the old school and relied on man management and motivation rather than tactics and analytical studying of players and opponents. Putting them up against each other would only produce one winner. McCoist has the far suprerior squad and that would give him the edge. If Hearts can recruit Craig Levein then that would certainly help tip the scales a little.
As for players, it’s difficult to say because we don’t know what’s going to happen at Rangers. Their current financial situation would dictate that they have the same squad, if not a little weaker, that they do this current campaign. However, you never know when a white knight might appear on the horizon and decide Rangers is his new play thing and, oh yeah, here’s £50 million to spend.
So, for the sake of arguing this question, let’s just say the Rangers squad is more or less the same as it is this season and Hearts do not lose many of their first team players. I think Jamie Hamill will go and possibly Jason Holt if anyone makes a decent offer, but I’d be surprised to see anyone else depart – Jamie MacDonald is apparently desperate to sign a new deal and I can see anyone wanting to pay money to wrestle Danny Wilson away. Richie Brittain will replace Hamill (my prediction for the 2014-15 season) and will immediately improve the midfield while adding better veteran leadership. After that a centre half and centre forward shall be required, possibly two of the latter if you want to keep up with Rangers (Scott Vernon and Kane Hemmings would do nicely). Hearts need a right back since they don’t have a natural at the club outside of Callum Paterson and they may wish to test out his attacking credentials against the Championship. I’m not entirely sure if he’s out of contract but Kieran Duffie from Falkirk would make a nice addition in that role. The midfield will need more creativity in the centre positions, although this one’s a little trickier to think of an available talent that would be willing to come. Perhaps someone from abroad or England, or maybe Hearts can convince St Mirren to lend them Gary Harkins for the second of his three year deal (yes, seriously). You may laugh, but the guy has scored goals for fun in the Championship in the past. Or Rudi Skacel will still be an effective player at his age. He certainly seems set to join Hearts for a third time as soon as the club exit admin.
So that gives us this:
(4-4-2): MacDonald; Duffie, Older No-Nonsense CB*, Wilson, McHattie; Paterson, Brittain, Harkins/Skacel, Nicholson; Vernon, Hemmings.
*James McPake? Haha. I’m kidding… Or am I?
That team, with Brad McKay, Dylan McGowan, Scott Robinson, Jamie Walker, David Smith an Dale Carrick in reserve, led by Craig Levein, would certainly give Rangers a run for their money. Remember, they don’t have to be better than the Ibrox club to have a credible title challenge. They just have to be better than everyone else.
In time do/could you see Iain Vigurs playing in a deep midfield position similar to Mulgrew when he plays there for Celtic? He has the passing, long and short, ability. – Clifford Alvarez
This is an interesting observation and one that I had never considered before. And you’re 100% right. He certainly has the passing range to fulfil such a role on the attacking range.
What my concern would be with Vigurs in that position is his lack of defensive nous and discipline. I really like Vigurs as a player and even thought he was doing a decent job at the start of this season when the Motherwell fans were ready to write off their summer acquisition. But, let’s be honest, there are games when he’s a complete joke defensively. Some of this can be put down to a lack of work rate, where he’ll merely jog back into position when he really needs to burst a gut to get behind the ball, but a lot of it is just a lack of awareness as he lets overlapping full-backs sneak in behind him while he’s observing the play in another area. There is a difference between deep-lying playmakers and defensive midfielders, but there is still an emphasis on defending the space in front of the back four in the former role. At 25, there’s still time for him to improve and this is perhaps a position he can grow old gracefully in, but for now I don’t know if I trust him with the extra responsibility.
Besides, if Motherwell want to play with a DLP then they already have one: his name is Paul Lawson.
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