Scottish Football Nicknames (Ranking 12-1)

Hello and welcome to the final part of our blog series ranking all the official nicknames in Scottish league football. Part one poked fun at the worst attempts, part two looked at the respectable entries that weren’t quite at elite level, now part three will go through the final 12 and award one club with having the country’s best nickname. 

Here we go… 

12. Forfar Athletic – The Loons

Unlike some of the other
names that will soon appear on our list, Forfar’s entry belongs
more to a region rather than the town itself. ‘Loon’ comes from
the old Scottish word for ‘boy’ or ‘lad’. Therefore it
doesn’t quite have the same affinity with the local community as
other sides. However, the fans embrace what has since became a
by-word for a nutcase, seeing as you have to be a little bit unstable
to be a die-hard football supporter.

11. Celtic – The Bhoys

‘The Hoops’ would have been
fairly high up the list. Even if it is a strip associated nickname it
at least stands out with those green and white bands being the club’s
trademark for over a century. ‘The Bhoys’ ranks even higher. It has
originality in the Scottish game and beyond thanks to the rogue
“h”. That letter ties the club together with its roots since ‘bhoys’ is an old American slang term for Irish immigrants; created
because of the way certain Irish accents sound when pronouncing the
word. As well as earning extra respect for ancestry it is also a word
that can bind in players, directors, coaches and fans alike; they are
all Bhoys. What prevents this entry breaking the top 10 is the
prevelance of other club nicknames (‘Hoops’ or ‘The Tic’) which
dilutes the recognition of ‘The Bhoys’ in the public consciousness.

10. St Mirren – The Buddies

The back story to this
one isn’t all that interesting even if it does have a Scottish
slant and local character. In Paisley slang the word body was used to
describe a person – like when you’re playing fives and you say
you need another body – and the dialect had the word sounding like
“buddy”. What makes it so great is how pertinent it has become in
the English speaking world in the 21st century with the
Americanism “buddy”, meaning pal or friend if you somehow didn’t
know, fully penetrating British language. Therefore it gives fans a
real sense of togetherness to all be “The Buddies” and can extend
to anyone else association with the club.

9. Dumbarton – The Sons

‘The Sons’ is short
for “Sons of The Rock”, referencing Dumbarton Rock, a volcanic
basalt that is the location for Dumbarton Castle, a royal stronghold
that dates back to the medieval age. The location is the town’s
main tourist attraction and the expression can be taken to mean ‘Sons
of Dumbarton’, which we think you’ll agree is a pretty solid
basis for a football nickname. It has been given greater pertinence
in recent times thanks to the move by the club from Boghead to the
new Dumbarton Football Stadium which is located right beside the
crag. So now ‘The Sons of The Rock’ play in the shadow of The Rock.

8. Arbroath – The Red Lichties

Licht is the old Scottish word for light.
You’ll need that piece of information if you are to join the dots
with the origins of this nickname. Ships coming in from the North Sea
hoping to dock in Arbroath were guided in by the sign of the red
light, a flame lit by monks in a local tower. Quite how the flame
managed to be appear red nobody is quite sure but it eventually
became the term for people from Arbroath. This then naturally
extended to the football team and their fans. The phlegm inducing
‘cht’ in ‘Lichties’ makes this arguably the most Scottish
sounding nickname in our entire rankings and that is what pushed it
above the previous two entries.

7. Montrose – The Gable Endies

This one takes some explaining. Montrose’s formerly
thriving port provided the perfect gateway for a number of merchants
to take up residence in the town. This included many wealthy
Dutchman. The gable is an architectural design on buildings that is
particularly popular in The Netherlands. Therefore, the rich
immigrants decided to build their houses gable to gable. From that
time on it became the nickname for people from the town and then
extended to the football team.

The name has local meaning, ties together players and
fans, is completely unique and can be understood in English with a
little Scottish twang thrown in; all attributes that make it very
high on this list. What prevents it from breaking the top five is
that it is too obscure for the casual fan to remember.

6. Ross County –
The Staggies

This has a particularly noble back-story. It is prevalent on the team’s badge but the roots go much
deeper. In 1927 the former Dingwall club, Dingwall Victors, decided
that in order to flourish they needed to create a team that could be
supported by everyone in the Ross & Cromarty region as the looked
to gain entry to the Highland League. Ross County FC was the result.
In honour of the Seaforth Highlanders – the historic regiment of
the British army under whom many local people served during the Great
War – the new club badge adopted that of the regiment, a stag’s
head. ‘The Staggies’ has great historical significance and
certainly a most humble connection with local people.

You can’t argue with the animal choice either; a majestic beast.

5. Falkirk – The
Bairns

“Better meddle wi the deil [devil] than the
Bairns o Fawkirk”

There are a few different tales but the above quote,
the town’s motto, is the most likely explanation. This is just such
an easily remembered nickname and so identifiable with anyone living
in the central east coast of the country. Calling a team ‘The
Children’ or ‘The Kids’ would be terrible and evoke images of
an easily bettered side, but for whatever reason ‘The Bairns’
does not have such weak connotations and the support are certainly
proud of it. Furthermore, it is a sub editor’s dream whenever
Falkirk have a particularly young side on the park, which they do at
present.

4. Clyde – The Bully
Wee

It’s just so completely Scottish. It deserves
celebration for being rooted in the Victorian era and still treasured
by supporters across Scotland today. ‘Bully’ was an old synonym
for good and the Clyde team, in their Glasgow days, were certainly
small in comparison to their local rivals. ‘Bully Wee Clyde’ soon
became an expression that rolled off the tongue and morphed itself
into its current shape. It goes above and beyond the bounds of
originality, only a Scottish person would have the first idea what
the hell it means, and even then most don’t understand it on first
listen.

3. Cowdenbeath – The Blue Brazil

Why would anybody visit a football game in the
Scottish lower leagues? The answer: it doesn’t pretend to be
anything it isn’t. There is a humility and sense of true identity
that every other league available to football fans in this country
through televisions screens lost a long time ago. ‘The Blue Brazil’ epitomises that. Some people have tried to explain the origins as
occurring around the time of Brazil’s well publicised national debt
in the 1980s being compared to the financial misfortune of the
Central Park club. We doubt this is true and it would be a shame if
it were because “The Blue Brazil” is terrifically drenched in
self-deprecating irony. It’s exactly the kind of humour that gives
Scotland football its character.

2. Queen of the South – The Doonhamers

What are the chances that the team with arguably the
best name in Scottish football would have one of the best aliases?
More than that, both refer to the club’s hometown but neither
actually mention it by name, and the two don’t have
any words in common.

Queen of the South was a named given to Dumfries
by the poet David Dunbar and the club adopted it. There was even
another team called Queen of the South Wanderers (outstanding) that
went out of existence in 1894. ‘Doonhamers’ derives from the days
when rail workers from Dumfries used to travel north to work in
Glasgow. Before returning they would converse with locals, saying
them were going “doon hame” and the term stuck. It gives
‘Doonhamers’ extra point for historical origins and bonding with
the local community, as well as having a cheeky self-ridiculing sound
to it.

Now, finally, we come to the number one spot. Chances are you are going to disagree with this decision but we just felt it, more than any other nickname, fully incorporates the criteria from which we’ve been ranking all of these names, as well as being easily recognisable and sufficiently popular. 

So without further delay… 

1. Ayr United – The
Honest Men

“Auld Ayr, wham ne’er a toun surpasses, for
honest men an’ bonnie lasses.”

Rooted in a great source of pride in Scottish history: the works of Robert Burns. Dubbed ‘Scotland’s Favourite Son’, the 18th century poet penned this particular line in ‘Tam O’Shanter’, a piece of work like many others from Burns that is celebrated worldwide. It has everything you absolutely want in a nickname:
local identity without excessive dialect rendering it insular, completely original without
being overly strange, has a place in Scottish history and a positive
football connotation can be derived from it. Ayr United, The Honest
Men, are deserving winners of the best nickname in Scottish football.

Feel free to leave any notes in the comments or tell us what you think of the list so far on twitter. 

If you’ve enjoyed the blogs make sure to check out the podcast. The latest show was entitled Golden Years.