10. Vince Berry (Queens Park)
We could spend time enthusing over Vincent Berry’s performance during Queen’s Park’s 3-1 win over Elgin City on Saturday. We could talk about his fine defensive display which aided the once-again make-shift back-four which resided behind him. We could wax lyrical about his involvement in the Spiders second goal, a fine display of team-work and movement, which was eventually hammered home by Jamie McKernon. We could, if you’d like, go off on a tangent, and discuss the flock of pigeons that flew across the screen as Connor McLaren fired Elgin back into the game, making the highlights look like they’d been filmed by a Tesco Value John Woo. All those topics would be worthy, but frankly, who cares, when you can just sit-back and watch Elgin goalkeeper Mark Hurst inexplicably fail to control a throw-in, before toe-ending it into his own net. In a game which also featured two red cards, it was a bonkers vignette in a fixture that was full of them. The result means there is now just three points between first and seventh in League Two. Marvellous.
9. Dene Shields (Brechin City)
Darren Dods has presumably found it far easier walking around this week, seeing as he managed to shake off both the albatross that was wrapped around his neck, and the monkey which was digging its hairy little simian fingers into his back, after winning his first game as Brechin manager. It was starting to look like it might never happen, and despite a bright start at Balmoor against Peterhead, it appeared for a moment that the chance had passed them by again. However, the reappearance of Dene Shields from injury, a player who was seen as a key signing during the summer, managed to influence proceedings City’s way during their 3-2 win. They were also helped along by Peterhead having Scott Ross dismissed late in the second-half, approximately the squillionth player to be sent off during manager Jim McInally’s tenure. Robert “Rob” Thomson may have bagged a brace for the away side, but both were of the tap-in variety. The first arrived after he was set-up by man-of-many-clubs Shields, before the oft-travelled front man scored a decent strike himself, nudging Ally Gilchrist off the ball with his doughy left buttock, before lashing home to put Brechin 2-1 up. It’s been a woeful honeymoon period for Darren Dods at Brechin, however, with Dene Shields back on-point, perhaps they won’t be heading to the divorce court just yet.
8. Liam Henderson (Hibernian)
The planet is chock-a-block with wonderfully named sporting arenas. The Stadio Giuseppe Meazza, La Bombonera, Wrigley Field, and the Stadio Azteca to name just four. Unfortunately, it’s unlikely that the tastefully christened Toni Macaroni Arena will join those fine fettered ranks, and while the venue formerly known as Almondvale didn’t see a particularly invigorating spectacle on Saturday, it did play host to a wonderful free-kick from Liam Henderson, which sealed a slim win for Hibs against Mark Burchill’s Bombscares. Scott Allan’s boringly protracted departure from Easter Road may have left Hibernian fans fretting about how Alan Stubbs was going to replace the creativity the Celtic substitute provided, but it’s interesting that Henderson has scored as many league goals in four appearances as Allan managed during all of last season. Unlike Toni Macaroni’s wonderful Italian themed menu, the match was a serving of stodge, with Hibs win owing just as much to their fifth clean-sheet in six games as Henderson’s excellent set-piece. St. Mirren are next up for Hibs. Expect boos.
7. Craig Watson (Arbroath)
Perhaps the murmurs of Arbroath’s demise were somewhat premature. After going eons without a victory, the Smokies have now won two-in-a-row, thanks to goals from Bobby Linn and a man who has arguably the least Angus sounding name of all time, Sergio Cecilia Alvarez. The win was chiselled out in a similar way to last weekend’s grisly 1-0 triumph over East Fife, with the Arbroath defence manhandling the Stirling Albion forward line of Steven Doris and Sandy Cunningham effectively. It perhaps says much about the bampottery of the basement division that second-to-rump-bottom Arbroath have only conceded one more goal than league leaders Annan Athletic. That is largely down to a huge improvement in the team’s fortunes in September, which coincides with the arrival on loan of Watson from Hamilton Accies, with the 20-year-old moving to Gayfield at the start of the month. Next Saturday’s match against fellow bottom-feeders East Stirling will be a good indication of whether or not Arbroath’s form is a positive blip, or a continued upward trajectory.
6. David Crawford (Alloa Athletic)
It was a day of contrasting fortunes for the goalkeepers involved in Saturday’s 1-1 draw between Alloa and Falkirk. The Bairns Danny Rogers, once more demonstrated that his involvement with the Irish under-21 squad says more about the standard of goalkeeping amongst young men in the Republic than it does about him. In the opposite rectangle, however, the Wasps’ David Crawford put in a man-of-the-match worthy shift to help his side pick up a surprising, and possibly undeserved point. Crawford had been kept on his toes during the opening period, where the home side gave as good as they got, but his day became more hectic in the second-half as Falkirk shifted up a gear. If repelling efforts wasn’t enough, he was even involved in the equaliser, sending in the free-kick from which Colin Hamilton got a shot off, an effort Rogers allowed to squiggle through his digits. Crawford may have been placed even higher on this list had he not inexplicably worn a headband despite having short hair. Unforgiveable.
5. James Craigen (Raith Rovers)
The Mexicans might have their Wave, Ronny Deila has his Roar, but in terms of crowd participation there can be no better sight or sound in sports entertainment than St Mirren’s Buddie Boo. It was in fine, lusty fettle on Friday evening as men, women and children, faces twisted in furious anger, dampened the back of the heads of those directly in front of them with frothy spittle. Everyone and everything was fair game. Ian Murray and his assistant Mark Spalding, all the players, the opposition, the referee, the half-time whistle, and most especially, its full-time equivalent, as the Paisley Prats trooped off after another defeat. James Craigen was the man who started off this magnificent display of displeasure, banging an effort past Jamie Langfield, who confusingly appeared to be impersonating Han Solo after he’d been frozen in carbonite while it pinged past him. The former Partick Thistle midfielder doesn’t score a great amount of goals, but judging by his opener in Friday evening’s 2-1 win, and his volley against Alloa earlier in the season, he is an accomplished scorer of great goals. In a team that isn’t exactly overflowing with creative outlets, Craigen has been key in Raith’s march to fourth. St. Mirren, on the other hand, are eighth. Boo.
4. Faissal El Bakhtaoui (Dunfermline Athletic)
After the dark trauma of losing at home to Ayr United last weekend, it was all sunshine and rainbows for Dunfermline on Saturday as they reverted back to the form which has saw them bloodily bodying opponents left, right and centre with this 5-0 win over Stenhousemuir. Faissal “The Moroccan Magician” El Bakhtaoui had already set up Joe Cardle for the opener after 11 minutes before he started to wade into the goal-scoring act himself, guiding an excellent Shaun Rooney cross in off the post with his napper to make it two. His second, and Dunfermline’s fourth, early in the second period, was already his 14th of the season, and at that stage Warriors fans must have feared an absolute rout of a result, but perhaps mercifully the Pars ended up with just the five. Next up for Dunfermline, it’s Jackie McNamara’s low-flying tangerine guffsters in the League Cup. The 11/2 on offer for a Pars win, seems an extremely tempting price.
3. Gordon Smith (Cowdenbeath)
Slowly but surely, Colin Nish’s Cowdenbeath, are starting to show signs of life. Last week’s 2-2 draw with Peterhead has been followed up with an impressive 2-1 win over Forfar Athletic, a result which shoogled Big Dick Campbell’s side off their perch at the top of League One. A team that looked woefully unprepared for the season just a few weeks back now have a new and improved core to their side. Teenager Jamie Sneddon has replaced the underperforming Michael Andrews in-goals, while loan signings Aldin El-Zubaidi, Andy Murdoch and Robbie Buchanan has all greatly improved the side. The signing of forward Gordon Smith may have been unheralded after he joined from Dumbarton, but his fine finish, his second since joining the club, opened the scoring, and his precise pass set up strike partner Greg Spence for the winner. The three points lifted Cowden up to eighth, but with no points on the road, and two away games coming up next, they’ll do well to continue their revival.
2. Gary Oliver (Queen of the South)
Gary Oliver must be an extremely frustrating team-mate. His style of play suggests that during his formative years in training, he paid keen attention to the art and craft of sticking his head down and beating a man. He sooked in as much knowledge as he possibly could about shooting, but frustratingly, he didn’t pay a blind bit of attention when his coaches were attempting to skill him on the benefits of passing a football. You’d struggle to find a more ball-hungry individual in the lower leagues. Beat a man. Beat another. Shoot wastefully. Get a row from Derek Lyle. Repeat ad infinitum. Admittedly, Oliver’s brand did have its benefits at the weekend, as it provided both Doonhamers goals in their 2-2 draw with Morton, although he didn’t assist them by teeing up a colleague, obviously. His first, saw him receive the ball on the edge of the box, allowing him to shim-sham his way past two challenges, before his ricocheted shot fell kindly to Lyle, who steered it home. The second saw him place his head on his chest and blindly run in the general direction of Morton’s goal, before being brought down by nefarious means for a free-kick, which Lucas Gasparotto kindly headed into his own net. While showing either of those moments would be fine and dandy, we’ve instead presented you with a GIF of Morton’s opening goal, a move which involves four players, none of whom play for Morton.
1. Martyn Waghorn (Rangers)
In terms of the weekend’s more surprising turn of events, Martyn Waghorn scoring a penalty ranks considerably lower than David Cameron allegedly spotting a lifeless hog sitting on his pal’s lap and choosing to thrust his bits-and-bobs into it. Rangers may have racked up more penalties this term than George Michael’s driving license, but that’s to be expected, considering they set up their base camp on the edge of the opponents box each and every week. It’s little wonder then that six of Waghorn’s 11 goals have come by way of the penalty spot. His ubiquitous penalty effort ensured Rangers would leave the garishly named Cheaper Insurance Direct Stadium with all three points, but his and Rangers’ first in their 2-1 win was a more worthy effort, spanking it home from almost 30-yards, although on the basis it entered the back of the net just to the right of centre, perhaps goalkeeper Mark Brown may have to take some responsibility. The Rangers run continues.
Written by Shaughan McGuigan (@ShaughanM)
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