As the Scottish leagues start to wind down to a close (if you’re Celtic) or build to deafening crescendo of booing (anyone in the bottom six or Dundee United), clubs are making a final play for your hard earned. Bargains abound, with huge discounts across the board on kits, memorabilia, and other things you do not need.
Fortunately, here at the Terrace Podcast, we’re here to help. Here you can find the five best bargains of club sales.
AFC Rain Mac – £5
Aberdeen is miserable. Martin Amis called it “one of the darkest places imaginable”, so a bright red poncho won’t keep out the cold, the darkness, the latent radiation from all the granite or the vivid memories of Jerel Ifil, but it will at least keep you marginally drier. Size up and get a massive one to cover your thighs, the rain is horizontal, so you’ll need it.
Hearts European T-Shirt – £3
Surely one of the best bargains you’ll ever see in a club shop, with a whopping 80% discount. Who can forget that famous night against Estonian tech start-up works team, Infonet? Three Hearts defenders and Prince Buaben scoring to dominate a 1st round qualifying game, and rounding off a successful European campaign under Robbie Neilson. Make no mistake, as the t-shirt says, Make Some Noise, remember that journey.
Inverness Caley Thistle Mug – £1.75
How better to celebrate the most famous member of staff in Inverness. Channel the same attitude; make no apology for being 100% biased towards #ICTFC since 1994 while gulping down your steaming hot coffee (no milk, no sugar). Not only that, but do it while picturing yourself as a faceless entity, the height of masculinity, scare off your co-workers by shouting ‘POWEEEERRR’ while turning on the kettle. Some say, you’ve got that ‘POWEEEERRR’ yourself.
Dundee United Jester Hat – £3
A fantastic opportunity for Arabs to dip back in to their standard grade English and claim: “jesters do oft prove prophets, Thompson is a snake.”
This one may be time limited, so get it bought sharpish, given the global shortage of ‘shed shades’ since the last time United went to a cup final, with Saturday’s Irn Bru Challenge cup final now reading in hours on the countdown clock, these will fly off the shelves for the inevitable Jim Spence led reception outside the Caird hall, you have been warned.
Dunfermline Athletic ‘Almost’ T-shirt – £5
75% off, and really, who can argue with that? Having teamed up with Copa to produce some fantastic retro gear, this has been extended to t-shirts celebrating not winning.
Celebrate Jock Stein’s men and Pat Gardner’s strikes, some of the greatest achievements of the club, and place them next to Jimmy Calderwood and Stephen Kenny.
So pick this up, and relive losing to Celtic all over again.
Written by Graeme Thewliss