10. Bobby Linn (Arbroath)
Lower league alumni, Bobby Linn helped himself to a hat-trick on Saturday as Arbroath eventually came out on top against Stirling Albion by five goals to three. The first-period had been a fairly forgettable affair, but that wasn’t the case in the second as both teams went hell-for-leather, adding six goals to the two which were already on the board. The win eased Arbroath into second place in the table, just behind Forfar, and while we hate resorting to exaggeration and hyperbole at The Terrace, an Angus title battle would unquestionably be the biggest thing to come out of the region since the Declaration of Arbroath in 1320.
9. Andrew Shinnie (Hibernian)
Well that’s torn it. Morton’s run of 1-1 draws came to an abrupt end as a classy looking Hibs team swatted aside Jim Duffy’s dismals in a one-sided, shootin’-fish-in-a-battle type contest down Leith way. The angst over Dylan McGeouch missing out due to him picking up his 726th injury since joining the club, proved unfounded, with Fraser Fyvie and Andrew Shinnie both revelling in the freedom Morton gave them. Shinniesta may be lacking match fitness, but he’ll be some boi when he gains it, grabbing a goal on his home debut in the 4-0 win over the grim Greenockians. One criticism of last season’s Hibs side was that they lacked width, but with all four of Saturday’s goals coming from crosses from wide areas Neil Lennon may well have rectified something which was amiss last term.
8. Tom O’Brien (Forfar Athletic)
Forfar Athletic may be a shoogly-woogly shambles at the back, conceding 20 goals in nine competitive fixtures this season, but luckily for them the other defences in League Two are equally horse. The Loons kept up their 100 per cent league record on Saturday thanks to another narrow, high-scoring win; this time a 3-2 triumph over Jim Weir’s Elgin City. While the striking duo of Josh Peters and Jim Lister have been taking most of the plaudits to date thanks to bagging nine goals between them, it was Tom O’Brien who grabbed centre-stage thanks to two excellent finishes, the first of which arguably rivalled Kevin McHattie’s exocet against Dundee United for goal of the weekend. Gary Bollan’s side may sit top of the table, but despite that, we still don’t think we’ve seen him anything other than furtive in a post-game interview.
7. Sean Higgins (Clyde)
If the ignominy of two successive relegations weren’t bad enough, Cowdenbeath’s tumultuous situation surely reached a new, hideous nadir on Saturday when they conceded two goals to Clyde forward Sean Higgins. That said, when your defence can’t run, mark, tackle, clear their lines or head the ball (unless it’s into their own net) then even the unlikeliest of scenarios becomes feasible. Cowden goalie David McGurn became more apoplectic with every concession and we’d probably recommend yoga or meditation for the ex-Raith ‘keeper, otherwise he’ll spontaneously combust sooner or later. Clyde boss Barry Ferguson admitted afterwards that he’ll need to fix his own side’s issues at the back, with Ross Perry the latest name to be linked with a move to Cumbernauld. Good luck with that one.
6. Alan Martin (Dumbarton)
Is there anything those capitalist pigs Falkirk won’t do as they go in search of the Yankee dollar? From punting the family silver to Swansea, to tacky t-shirts featuring Peter Houston, they’ve tried most things to turn a profit. However, Saturday’s latest marketing ploy featured some real out-the-box thinking. One ‘lucky’ couple received the chance to watch the club’s 1-0 win over Dumbarton from a hot-tub, and while we’re no relationship experts judging by the wife’s Chevy Chase from the pictures the divorce proceedings will start soon. At least they had a fine vantage point to see Falkirk’s first win of the season, the manner of which would have been far more convincing had it not been for the heroics of Dunbarton goalie Alan Martin. The former Hamilton goalie has been in fine fettle since joining in the summer and that form will need to continue as the Sons look to extend their stay in the second-tier.
5. Jordyn Sheerin (Berwick Rangers)
They’re getting closer. Edinburgh City may have made it nine consecutive defeats on the spin, but they’ll feel aggrieved not to have taken something from this one. The 2-1 defeat to Berwick could very well have been a different tale if not for some fine custodianship from ‘Wee’ Rangers ‘keeper Kevin Walker as well as another two goals from smokin’-hot front-man, Jordyn Sheerin. With two of their next three fixtures coming against sides which currently help populate the bottom-four places in the table, Edinburgh’s first points might not be far away.
4. Kyle Benedictus (Raith Rovers)
In a match that was crammed full of incidents and great goals, it was a tricky task to pick a stand-out performer, however, Kyle Benedictus managed to raise himself above the rest with his unusual conduct as the game drew to a close. With ex-Raith defender Lewis Toshney up for a corner the Rovers fans were indulging in a lusty rendition of “Lewis Toshney, you’re a wanker, you’re a wanker,” a ditty that the bold Benedictus joined in with, roaring it into Toshney’s ear as he man-marked him at the set-piece. The alleged compulsive masturbator took it in good humour, although he’d have been less chuffed with the surrender of United’s two-goal lead, which was squandered thanks to two sublime goals from Jordan Thompson and Kevin McHattie. The result kept Gary Locke’s indomitables in second place, five points clear of Ray McKinnon’s misery-inducers
3. Iain Flannigan (Alloa Athletic)
What a difference a year makes. This time 12 months ago, with Alloa floundering in the Championship like a fish-out-of-water, their fans were met with the sight of Geoff Mitchell ambling about, while Andy McNeil fell over a lot. Frankly, for putting up with those sights, they deserve to be treated to this start to the campaign. They’re now sitting on 12 points – a total it took them until February to reach last season – thanks to this 4-0 win over Albion Rovers. It wasn’t their best performance to date, but a late collapse from Rovers and an inspired performance from winger, Iain Flannigan saw the Wasps move two clear at the top. They won’t be particularly easy to dislodge.
2. Brian Gilmour (Ayr United)
Both Ayr United and St. Mirren have made a habit of losing games rather than winning them this term, so it must have been a blessed relief to both sets of fans that they witnessed none of the former on Saturday. True, they didn’t see a win either, but lets take the glass-half-full approach shall we? The Buddies would have been the happier bunch, seeing as their equaliser in the 1-1 draw came so late in the day, but it was still a fairly poor performance against an Ayr side who couldn’t quite see the game out. After a disappointing start to the campaign, Brian Gilmour made a strong claim for man-of-the-match, although admittedly, mascot Pandemonium Panda could probably look quite good against that St. Mirren midfield. Both teams stay rooted to the bottom two spots.
1. Jordan Marshall (Queen of the South)
Lots of people have hobbies and interests. Brian May for example has a love of badgers, Claudia Schiffer collects insects and Breaking Bad pain-in-the-neck Aaron Paul can tell a dog’s gender just by clapping it. Jason Talbot has one too, with the Dunfermline defender enjoying nothing more than attempting to maim other humans, and he was at it again on Saturday, receiving his marching orders for a wild lunge on Kyle Jacobs. It doesn’t say much for Talbot’s attributes that Dunfermline probably played better after he departed stage-left, but they were unable to draw level with a Queen of the South side who deserved their 1-0 win. Left-back Jordan Marshall proved there’s more to the Doonhamers than just Stephen Dobbie with a fine performance as the Dumfries Dynamoes moved five points clear of fourth.
Written by Shaughan McGuigan