“Typical Scottish football!” was my barman’s disdainful verdict following a meaty challenge in the opening minutes of Sunday’s Hearts – Hibs Scottish Cup fifth round tie.
As we now all know, the match at Tynecastle developed into a pulsating encounter. My barman was largely quiet, sticking mainly to preparing drinks throughout the rest of the game until an involuntary “wow!” popped out when Paul Hanlon drew Hibs level in injury time.
I don’t blame him personally for his initial critical remark – I’m just sick of hearing it.
My barman’s grumble fits with the dominant discourse. A cursory glance online shows much of the narrative surrounding Scottish football is relentlessly negative.
On Wednesday night I had to work late and so missed the live coverage of Aberdeen’s great 2-1 win over Celtic.
There really is glut of positives to take from that result – and the possibilities that it opens up. It deserves to be embraced by everyone with the faintest of interest in Scottish football. And that includes Celtic supporters.
You would have hopped that Jonny Hayes brilliant goal, or the credentials of Aberdeen’s title challenge would have been the key talking point.
Instead my Twitter feed was cluttered with sarcastic comments linking to this twenty-second period of headers and punts, as the two sides struggled to find their rhythm:
football Fights @footbalIfights Feb 3:
Scottish football is like watching Barcelona sometimes…
One post even popped up on my Facebook timeline – and by someone who doesn’t like football.
Maybe I’m lacking a sense of humour but I can’ help feeling this is terribly tedious; it seems the malcontents – motivated only by their desire to sneer – are driving so much of the message about our game.
If this criticism was based on Scotland’s lack of success at club and national level and was the source of those offering suggestions on improvement it might carry more credibility.
But it’s not – it’s a whinge dressed in predictable (un)funny quips that serve only to belittle what is still the most attended and loved sport in Scotland.
The disdain for our own domestic game is the final bastion – or perhaps a hangover – of the once all conquering Scottish Cringe; a self-loathing which plagued all elements of popular culture for decades.
Living rooms and pubs across Scotland are dazzled by an overload of elite English football. Even when the English Premiership football on offer isn’t great it is still packaged up in a way that makes it seem far superior.
And while BBC Radio Scotland deliver strong comprehensive radio coverage of Scottish football – the same can’t be said for Auntie Beeb’s efforts covering the game on television north of the border.
Sportscene tries its best but regrettably it just isn’t good enough.
Perhaps if a fairer funding model was in place – the current system results in Scottish TV License fee holders paying ten times more for English football and Match of the Day – then Pacific Quay would have a chance of showcasing a highlights package that would do our game some justice.
The state broadcaster’s funding model is one of several issues surrounding the game that needs addressed. In the meantime it might be worth asking the online sneer merchants what they think about this massive disparity that fails Scottish football.
But maybe they are too busy burning their armchairs – or desperately saying that they supported Leicester all along…
I didn’t stick around in my local on Sunday to watch the English Premiership games that were on later that day. I suspect the Sunday afternoon punters or the barman were not as gripped with Bournemouth v Arsenal as they we were with Edinburgh derby.
Liam Young @The_Liam_Young Feb 3:
‘Folk slagging Scottish football because of a bit of head tennis in the first minute, ignoring a screamer of a goal #ArmchairWankers’
Written by Erik Geddes