Rangers

Considering what has occurred at Ibrox over the last year
and what the loyal support has been subjected to this season in terms of performances
then this team should have been very straight-forward. Charles Green even said
himself that this season’s side was the worst Rangers team in history. While
that comment may have some hyperbole to it, for he has no idea if a striker
from the 1920’s was better or worse than Kevin Kyle, it should certainly set in
stone that this team is the worst since the start of the SPL. But that’s too
easy, and after the trials the club has suffered through during the last year
it doesn’t seem entirely fair. So I’ve decided that anyone in the team this
season has been excluded from this worst XI. What is left is more than enough
bile inducing dross to negatively alter your mood. Writes Alan Temple

Goalkeeper

Lionel Letizi (Free, 2006-07, Apps: 9): I am inclined to
take an empathic view towards Lionel’s time in Govan. He is a player who was,
in many ways, defined by supporters’ perceptions of his allies and enemies. The
veteran Frenchman was seen as Paul Le Guen’s man; a soldier loyal to a General
who was about to succumb to a bloody revolution.

He was also foe to local favourite Allan McGregor, who had
performed admirably during Letizi’s two-month absence through injury during the
2006/07 campaign. The fact he was fond of an untimely blunder
(http://bbc.in/YLuSWU) hardly helped his popularity either, and ensured his
stay in Glasgow
would be inglorious and brief.

Defence

Olivier Bernard (Free, 2005-06, Apps: 15): Bernard, to be
perfectly frank, looked a shadow of his former self during his five-month spell
with Southampton prior to joining Rangers in the Summer of 2005. Nothing he did
in Govan shattered that perception. As it happens, given SPL football should
have been a cakewalk for a player of his undeniable pedigree, he was actually
worse than his gradual decline at St Mary’s had hinted at.

The former Newcastle
man never seemed to attain full fitness, offered scant attacking impetus and
was lazy defensively. All while picking up a wage hardly befitting his meagre
contribution. Bernard originally signed a two-year deal, but Paul Le Guen
deemed his countryman surplus to requirements upon his arrival and released him
after one. See, Le Guen’s reign had positives.

Karl Svensson (£600,000, 2006-07, Apps: 27): Poor Karl, a
player who arrived in these shores from IFK Goteborg amid quite the ballyhoo:
future Sweden
skipper according to various talking heads. He also arrived having been assured
by Paul Le Guen, it seemed, that the SPL was a docile, meandering league in
which physical challenges are rarely – nay, never – made.

Constantly bullied and regularly displaying all the pace and
grace of an inebriated foal, allied with the positional sense of a Farmfoods
carrier bag caught in a gale, the boy was an utter bombscare. Now 28, this
future leader of his nation turns out for Jönköpings Södra IF in the second
tier of Swedish football.

Amdy Faye (Loan, 2007-08, Apps: 6): Here is the first, but
by no means last, player who probably falls into the “Christ, I forgot he
even played for Rangers!” category. Well, forget no more, and let us bask
in the dim, barely perceptible light of Amdy’s time in Glasgow.

A loan signing from Charlton, this Senegalese defensive
brick-house was brought to Glasgow
to provide some backbone as Walter Smith picked up the pieces from the
footballing nuclear holocaust which was the Paul Le Guen era. Instead, Faye
looked clumsy and ponderous in his brief appearances and found himself unable
to usurp a 172-year-old David Weir. He did, however, play in a Champions League
victory, coming on for the last four minutes of a 2-1 triumph over Stuttgart. And what a
four minutes.

Midfield

Kevin Muscat (Free, 2002-03, Apps: 29): “Worst XI? But
I won the Treble,” Kevin might justifiably plead, before viciously raking
his studs down my calf, springing to his feet and signalling that he clearly
got the ball. Indeed Muscat
proved a relatively competent signing by Alex McLeish.

But that, in itself, is a source of misery and indicative of
how backwards football in this country was at times. The man was technically
woeful, criminally reckless and without any discernible natural talent. Yet he
was fit and ‘put himself about’ and, as a consequence, this dreadful footballer
won every major trophy this country has to offer.

Dragan Mladenovic (£1m, 2004-05, Apps: 9): Within 10
uninspiring, languid, wasteful minutes of his debut it became apparent that to
call Mladenovic the “Serbian Zidane” was, at best, a cruel misnomer
and, at worst, a misrepresentation of truly illegal proportions. It was
ludicrous; like, I don’t know, calling Hibs misfit Pa Kujabi the Gambian
Roberto Ca…..oh…..

A £1m-plus arrival from Red Star Belgrade in 2004, he never
acclimated to the pace or intensity of the Scottish game and, assuming there
was any technical ability in that rangy frame of his, patrons of Ibrox never
saw it.

Emerson (Free, 2003-04, Apps: 18): A promising start to life
at Rangers evaporated for this one-time £4.2m midfielder to such an extent that
he finds himself on this particular roll of dishonour. He showed flashes of the
technical ability which made him a Middlesbrough legend and took him to
Atletico Madrid,
scoring the Gers goal in a 1-1 Champions League draw at Panathinaikos.

But whether it was a lack of fitness, a dearth of interest
or just the interminable march of time dictating that he did not have a good
full season in him, by the end of his time in Glasgow he was an utter liability
in midfield; wasteful, lazy, uninterested.

Jerome Rothen (Loan, 2009, Apps: 8) A place in a midfield
three probably means playing Jerome Rothen slightly out of position but, let’s
be honest, judging by his spell at Rangers, any deterioration of performance
would be imperceptible. Yet here was the man who provided the bullets for
Morientes in Monaco’s
run to the Champions League final of 2003; the fella who played over 150 games
for Paris-Saint Germain. What a coup it should have been for Walter Smith.

Instead, his eight-game sojourn to these shores was
embarrassing. I have genuinely never seen a player so wilfully ignorant of his
defensive responsibilities as Rothen was during his debut against Motherwell at
Fir Park. For one afternoon Yassin
Moutaouakil was made to look like Dani Alves as he rampaged, unchecked, up and
down the right-flank, with Rothen acting as a vaguely-interested (at best)
spectator. It was an incredible sight, facilitated by the utter arrogance of
this criminal waste of a jersey.

Attack

Marcus Gayle (£1m, 2001, Apps: 4): At around £1m, Marcus
Gayle’s 2001 was a horrific waste of money. Despite impressive Premiership
pedigree with Wimbledon he spent just three months in Glasgow, playing four times and failing to
find the net.

For what it’s worth, Marcus Gayle is currently cutting his
teeth in management back in the Big Smoke, at Staines Town
no less. Booyakashan, indeed.

Fillipo Maniero (Free, 2005, Apps: 0): Lord Lucan; Shergar;
evidence of Pippo Maniero in a Rangers jersey. If you have stumbled across any
of these three fabled icons then I recommend contacting a TV production company
– you have the makings of a fascinating documentary.

With a CV including Parma,
Sampdoria, Atalanta, Palermo
and AC Mi-bloody-lan, punters in Govan may have expected a deluge of Italian
goals not seen in those parts since the arrival of moody squash connoisseur
Marco Negri. Instead they got a ghost; a player that, records show, never
actually played for Rangers. There is probably a story there, probably a cogent
reason. However, I don’t know what it was and he remains a true anomaly.

Francis Jeffers (Loan, 2005, Apps: 14): Arsene Wenger’s
“fox in the box”. I’m no David Attenborough but, if Wenger is to be
believed, then presumably foxes have very little natural instinct, regularly
endure droughts and ultimately die of starvation altogether?

A one-time £8m signing by Arsenal after he displayed a
semblance of youthful promise at Everton, Jeffers was a shell of a player when
he arrived at Ibrox on loan from Charlton (in the same transfer window as
Maniero incidentally #goalzzzzz) and never even looked like scoring during his
14 appearances for the club.

Manager

Paul Le Guen (31 games, winning 52%): There is only one
clear winner here. Ally McCoist is giving him a close run but seeing as we are
excluding this season then it would be harsh to include “Super Ally”
on last season alone. The curiosity regarding Le Guen’s time in charge is that
he was such a highly touted manager. When David Murray convinced him the
Scottish top flight was the ideal location for his talents it appeared a
genuine masterstroke. However, three consecutive league finals and a place in the
last eight of the Champions League with Lyon
counted for nothing once he took up residence in the Ibrox dugout.

The reasons were simple, his knowledge of the Scottish game
was limited before taking the job and he didn’t do enough to learn once his feet
were in the door. The players he brought in, 13 in total, were either not of
the required standard or ill fitting to the style to succeed in this country.
He also alienated the local players, therefore fans favourites and leaders in
the dressing room, which ultimately led to the club ending the project after
only a few months.

‘Honorary’ mentions…..

Jose-Karl Pierre-Fan-Fan, Nuno Capucho, Egil Ostenstad.

Alan is a football reporter with the Capital City Press and
can be followed on twitter here.